Day 8 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

January 19, 2011 § Leave a comment

After my last post, “Ode to the Commode”, I’m not sure if I can keep up. It seems I set the bar pretty high on the humor home-front and according to my critics (all 2 of them) I’m not allowed to be serious anymore. The thing about humor is that it runs low sometimes.. and/or out completely. So on occasion I will give you an unexpected giggle but let’s not make Katie give up her sensibilities just quite yet.

On that note the prompt I have chosen today is “A hero that has let you down. (letter)” So, here’s to the superhero.

Dear “Steel” (aka Shaquille O’Neal),

You only further proved that basketball players don’t belong in movies playing superheroes dressed up like trash cans. I don’t know why one would ever choose to do a movie whose script is based on a person who builds non-lethal weapons to “neutralize soldiers” in wars, is rejected by the military and who takes matters into his own hands when gang members use them on the street. First of all… “non-lethal weapons”? Are we talking about pillows? Marshmallows? Twinkies? And what in the world do you mean by “neutralize”? What are you going to do.. pillow fight them to death?
I could see how the costume is incredibly appealing as well. I mean, who doesn’t want to dress up like a metal trash can from outer space? In fact I’m sure a few of them were at my door this Halloween asking for candy, too!
It’s a shame when a movie tanks so badly that even Burger King wouldn’t pick up the merchandise to put in a kid’s meal.

You’ve really tarnished your name. Obviously Space Jam was the only good thing to come of your acting career. (Oh wait… that was Michael Jordan. Nevermind.) I’d say “Stick to basketball!” but it seems those days pretty well over too.

Hey, I guess it’s not all bad.. at least you have those sweet Reebok’s with the pumps.

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